Don’t hate on Obama, he’s the country’s uncle and want’s you to have a good time, man.

Ever had a BBQ and that one cool uncle comes over? A beer in one hand while cracking jokes here and there? That’s Obama. Uncle ‘Bama.

Noticed how he said “Where do you guys get these ringtones, by the way?” Showing that he’s older, jesting us youngsters at the kid’s table.
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From Reddit:

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

From my favorite Tumblr, Boner Party

its all about love. thats all this shit is really about. thats why we drive the cars we do, stock the refriderators with things other than condiments and leftover thai food, thats why we put the shoes on our feet to walk out the door with. that really is sort of the whole impetus behind boners, anyway. men are not unlike the penises of which they serve: we just want to be in a warm place and have a lot of attention paid to us.
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We salute you Mr. Glover.  Everyone here at the offices of Various Cool idolizes you.  We honor you today, good sir.  Thanks for the memories and keep on rockin’ on.

Everything‘s Funnier in Spanish.

I’ve gotten way too many faxes and emails over this.  Please people, I know how much you guys love EFiS, it just takes time to find quality ones worth posting.  So anyways, without further ado…grab the popcorn, turn out the lights, light a candle

If you all copped the Chester French album, and I hope you did, check out Sliggitay. He’s got a remix of Ciroc Star off Chester French’s mixtape, Jacques Jams, Vol 1: Endurance
Enjoy some free Sliggitay!

Time again for Trend That Must Die!

Percolators, I hate you.  Where to begin…You’re messy.  I always get coffee grounds in the bottom of my mug.  Why?  Also, you make coffee too hot.  I have to put ice cubes in my cup so that I can actually consume my coffee.  Also, you are a bitch to clean up.  I gotta take you apart and wash wash wash your stupid parts.  Also, you are too basic.  Not programable?  Hello, it’s 2009, get caught up.  That stupid little knob you have on top is flimsy as well.  You cost too much also.

I can’t think of one single reason that I like you.  I guess you don’t break easy…AHAH!  You old trickster, you!  You don’t brake easily so that I can stay with your mediocrity forever.  Well guess what?  I’m throwing you out.  See ya later, percolator!

So pretty soon I won’t be able to watch tv right?  It’s going all digital but I dont own one of those fancy shmancy flatscreens.  Some people tell me not to worry though.  I’m so confused.

Monkey detective, can you help me????!!!

Magic shiny oreos, “You’re gonna love my nuts.” Gahhhlic. I found out my life is boring because my tuna is. America is gonna be skinny again. “Tacos, fetticini, linguini, martini, bikini”

Vince is obviously addicted to Meth. And why is he wearing that headset? Is he working the drive-thru at Burger King later on? Also, since when does Radish+Carrot+Celery=Salad?
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