1. “Fail!”

The Fail Blog jumped the shark in about 3 days. “Hey, here’s a pic of an unfortunate situation. I know, lets open up MS Paint and write FAIL on there! Hahaha! I’m so fucking funny!”

No. No. You are not.

“Look! The dog didn’t catch the tennis ball! hahaha, he failed! lol rotfl lmao lullz, super lol”

Who the fuck writes that blog anyways, Bob Saget? Sinbad? Dane Cook? Actually, I think it is Dane Cook.

2. “That’s what she said.”

This one’s tough, I know. But unless you have your own TV show on NBC, you can’t say it anymore. It was cool for the first three seasons though, I admit.

3. My bad.

Unless you’re in 8th grade, you have to say “my mistake.”

  1. “Ohhhhhhh kay.”

Nooooooo thanks. Sarcasm is best done subtle. So is NON SEQUITUR comedy; Will Ferrell, take notes. Will Ferrell is so unfunny, the 4th graders I work with barely laughed as we watched Kicking and Screaming. I ended up requesting to sharpen pencils…wait, where was I? Oh yes, sarcasm sucks.

“Sarcasm is the protest of people who are weak.”

-John Knowles

  1. Any line from Juno

Has dialogue ever tried so hard to be cool? I mean wow! When Juno’s on the phone she delivers a line to her friend that’s like: “No, it’s Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones I can collect?” Wow, Diablo Cody. You’re an amazingly talented writer. Have you been holding on to that joke since 1999? That’s got Oscar written all over…wait, she did win.

My bad.