With summer gone, it’s time for the studios to drop some crap on us.  The stuff that couldn’t cut it for the summer gets dumped in September.  October has more crap and “scary” films.  Bonus crap points if said film is a remake of a Japanese flick.  Extra bonus points for any film released that begins with S and ends with W.

November has movies that try to win Oscars.  December does too.  Be on the lookout for Will Smith to cry and Clint Eastwood to try to make us sad.  Tears equal nominations.  Also steer away from holiday films.  Especially if the trailer shows a “dinner at the table with the crazy but lovable family” scene.

January is legendary for studio’s dumping their worst films.  Films they couldn’t dump in Sep. and Oct.  because they stunk so bad.  February has them too.  Be on the lookout for a cheesy chick flick for Valentines Day.

March has an action film that wasn’t good enough for the summer.  It and April have films from every genre that are decent.  I call them rentals.

May has some superheroes and part 2s and 3s.  June has action stuff.  July has action stuff…but not until Will Smith has his 2 weeks at top.  Be sure to smile when Smith gets teary eyed in a PG-13 popcorn movie.  Seriously Will, stop with the waterworks.  We get it.  You can act.  Your son can too. Your wife…moving on…

August has some great comedies that didn’t want to compete with lasers, robots, and the Fresh Prince.  Be carefull with action films here.  But hey,  how else would Jason Statham pay his mortgage?

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