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From Reddit:

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you’re a great guy, but I don’t like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

From my favorite Tumblr, Boner Party

its all about love. thats all this shit is really about. thats why we drive the cars we do, stock the refriderators with things other than condiments and leftover thai food, thats why we put the shoes on our feet to walk out the door with. that really is sort of the whole impetus behind boners, anyway. men are not unlike the penises of which they serve: we just want to be in a warm place and have a lot of attention paid to us.
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We salute you Mr. Glover.  Everyone here at the offices of Various Cool idolizes you.  We honor you today, good sir.  Thanks for the memories and keep on rockin’ on.

Everything‘s Funnier in Spanish.

I’ve gotten way too many faxes and emails over this.  Please people, I know how much you guys love EFiS, it just takes time to find quality ones worth posting.  So anyways, without further ado…grab the popcorn, turn out the lights, light a candle